Welcome to Sarahlikespizza's writing archive!
Posts are in sequential order and most were originally posted to Instagram.
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I could add a filter to get rid of my expression lines or my beginnings of silver hair, marking my genes and how long I’ve been on this earth. Or I could leave them. How long have we all spent focusing on how we’re worried of being perceived instead of being proud of it? I for one, would say any second worrying about perception, particularly of physical details, is a second taken from your happiness. And any second worrying about the opinions of others beyond the physical, well, there’s a hell of a lot more to you as a person than how you’re perceived. Accept your physical body and work to improve and understand it every day. Believe in yourself and do what you find worthy, and those of value will remain or appear. And those that don’t, will go. Beauty is fleeting, but positive progression, selflessness, true love... well those things last lifetimes and change worlds. They sculpt your imprint on this planet and your friends and family. Be more than your wrinkles or silver hairs or weird decisions or bad days. Be an accumulation of everything that’s better than the day before. Love yourself for it. And let others love you for it. And the next time you’re worried about your life goals being seemingly out of reach or your current injury or your weird mole or whatever the hell it is, remind yourself how you made someone you love feel recently, or how much you have achieved on the way to your goals, or how many things you can be grateful for in that very moment. And if your words aren’t fluid and pretty, share them anyway, for the other clunky brain moments out there. Cause sometimes it’s just about sharing- pizza with a friend, a call with a parent, a random blurb with some followers... is it possible for life to be this simple and complex in one? Yep... guess so!
I debated sharing this since it’s a vulnerable blurb and I like to make the best of any situation. I truly believe happiness is a choice we make. But, it’s not always the easiest choice which is why the whole world struggles with it. However, this won’t come as a shock if you know me at all (or even look back at my Instagram feed before the move this last year). You’ll see a hell of a lot more adventures and authentic moments doing what I truly love, often times alone. So here goes: When I talk about home, I don’t talk about a city. I don’t say I’m from Seattle. I may have been born in a hospital there and I may have grown up in a suburb south of the city, but that’s not home. I say I’m from Washington. I feel home in the Northwest, and that can go as far north as BC, as far east as Idaho and Montana, as far south as Oregon... maybe even Northern California. But not southern. I’m honestly stifled by the sheer volume of people. Getting away from the city down here usually means going to the desert. And although the desert can be renewing and beautiful, I don’t find it refreshing until I’m in Baja or Utah. How funny is that? Years of traveling and I find myself in an area surrounded by what doesn’t feel like home. I’ve made a home for now, yes, with a loving fiancé and two beautiful kiddies. But I’m not myself wholly because I can’t recharge routinely. I’m not able to free my mind the way I used to, in the forest, or on the rocky beaches, or in the high mountains, or at the cold lakes and rivers. I’m still deciding why. It’s possible you won’t understand what I’m talking about at all. I don’t know if why matters. Sometimes we are simply built inside out to be a certain way, and we can only adapt so much. I love social interactions and thrive on conversations with others, but I’m exhausted if I can’t find me time (besides at home) to do so. I’ve healed in the wild. I’ve ran from society so many times, from emotional and physical trauma, finding freedom, truth, love. Nature never abuses even if it can be harsh, it just is the way it is. And down here? It’s easy to miss that energy.
Today I’m thankful for a splash of eggnog in my hot coffee, and hot water bottles for my back. Actually being able to treat myself to a little dairy and sugar isn’t always easy on my body, but today it feels right. I fell the other day, backwards onto the wall and hit my back, doing nothing spectacular, and the hot water bottles are saving me. I’m going to try my best to stop trying to figure out why I was happiest in the past, and focus on what makes me happy now. It’s hard during the nostalgic holiday season. Because life changes. So what made me happy years ago, might not today. I think the hardest thing about being honest with yourself on this path, is admitting that sometimes you just don’t know the answers and it can be scary trying to find them. But that’s where growth is. That’s when you step far out of your comfort zone. That’s what wakes us up from our “I’m fine” days and takes us to “I’m fantastic.” And there will be days in between the fantastic that outright suck. But I’d take highs and lows over a steady “fine” any day.
Life’s been a bit of a struggle lately. And part of that is external and there’s no quick fix, but as always, a larger part is internal. I’ve been questioning a lot of decisions and worrying about other decisions. That’s a huge problem, and every once in a while I get in that spiral and it can feel hard to get out. I bet you’ve been there too. You have to check yourself to stop the trend. It takes a lot of awareness and it’s a constant life activity. Right now I see my eggs in a bunch of baskets but they feel like they’re in one. It’s an irrational thought but it’s there. Some days I wake up and feel like I’m drowning in a list of stuff to do and I struggle just to talk about it out loud. Other days I feel like there’s nothing to do and I’m frustrated because I can’t relax. I’ve had a crazy year with so much going on and so little at the same time, and it’s been a huge mental trip for me. I wake up and do my best every day, but I don’t feel like myself every day. And so I’m questioning myself. I’m overthinking. I tend to go through a large change every few years... routine activities, true passions, simple annoyances, passing friends, hair and clothing styles, goals. That’s just a start. I’m also maturing in ways I love. I’m also self aware and self caring in ways I never imagined. It makes me a better friend, lover, and person. But it can also make me awkward and rough on the edges. By the end of a ten year period it can be hard to recognize me. But I’m better and these struggles hurdle me forward and when things fall into place for a little while as life allows, I can look back on the period of chaos and appreciate. And when the next period of chaos comes, I can remember the calm. If you ain’t up and down, are you really human?
On a less serious note, here’s me as a kid! My parents sent me this photo scanned from a negative the other night and it reminded me just how simple things have always made me happy. And back to (kind of) serious... I ain’t a Vegas girl. I’m not a twenty best friend’s girl. I’m not a spa day and expensive clothes kinda girl. I’m not a going out for tapas and mixed drinks girl. I’m not a lot of things. But? I am happy by the smallest things. I am happy in the simplest moments. I’m happy in comfy clothes with my few best friends enjoying a natural view. I’m happy eating a homemade steak with my parents and chatting about birds. I’m happy cuddling with mah love and talking about life, or not talking at all. So even when I’m confused and overwhelmed and sad and frustrated, I’m still happy. It does not take perfection to be happy, only exercising your ability to see what you have. And honestly? You shouldn’t compare yourself to anyone else, including your past self. So when society tells you you aren’t pretty enough, fit enough, social enough... When your commute and work and pay are underwhelming at best... When you lose friends and people to life and death... When you fail repeatedly... Just remember... you’re not alone and there’s great beauty in everything. Always. Find it. Hold onto it. But not so tightly you don’t appreciate it.
Repeat this with me... I will be easier on myself. If you’re anything like me, you push yourself to strive for the absolute highest level of everything and you give yourself a hard time if you’re not where you think you should be. It can be with what you’re eating and drinking, with what you’re doing at work, with your relationships, with anything! I can guarantee you’re your hardest critic and most of those around you don’t see you as not enough in any way. If anything, your fear of not being good enough causes you to be less- less genuine, less comfortable, less in the moment. The weeks you feel frustrated as all get out (for whatever reason that’s been this past week for me) are preparing you for everything down the road. It doesn’t matter if you had a hard week, because in another week you won’t remember it. It’ll just be another time when you were pushing forward. So keep doing you, and don’t forget to give yourself a break once in a while. Cause shit happens and sometimes you feel like a mess even when life is always a beautiful mess- you’re just doing that stupid human thing and focusing on the negatives which will always exist too. Again, I will be easier on myself. And you should too!
I wrote a blurb I was proud of. But I forgot to copy it in case it wouldn’t post, and so it’s gone. Well, that’s okay. It’ll come out clunkier now, but maybe that’s fitting. Because it’s a heavy and clunky topic. I’ve been diving deeply into some places in my mind and the habits they created. The political and social environment is helping with that, and making it nearly impossible not to. But some weeks it gets to be too much. When I can’t calm my mind, when it’s just doing what human brains have evolved to do, analyze and look for threats to survival, I take it to the most basic level. I focus on my physical body. And it feels like a distraction at the time but it gets out the toxicity and allows me to sit and think and feel afterward. And then my mind finally becomes quiet. The negative energy was instead used to hold myself upside down in the sloped and sinking sand and wind. We all have memories that still hurt to explore, and triggers that bring them to the surface. We all have worries about the future. We all have self doubt and negative patterns. I don’t believe we can overcome anything by suffocating it and hiding it away. And when it boils up; it can be hard to sit and feel and let go of it. So when it surfaces, what do you do? Do you bombard it with movies and books and social situations? Do you pack it with food you know won’t make you feel good? Do you say yes when someone offers to buy you some drinks, because that’s the social norm? Do you sit and say “I’ll be happy when” even when the only time is now? Or have you known yourself long enough to fill those times of wanting relief with habits that will serve you forever? Do you aid in your future happiness by allowing yourself the right choices now? I think if you’ve got it all figured out you’re lying, but if you’re not letting yourself feel chaotic and uprooted so you can settle into what serves you, you’re cheating yourself.
What was I thinking today at sunset? Something along the lines of “fuck you city!... take me to the wild. Even if it’s a beach with only a few people cause the “chill” of autumn is here, it’s better than the shopping centers, the highways, the banks, the chaos and lights and mess of everyone running around always trying to do something. Here I can just be. Because half of life is just learning how to be. To be you. To be in the moment. To just be.
I had one hell of a day. Little stuff piled up and bothered me since the moment I woke up. I honestly didn’t want to see or talk to anyone so typical rudeness bothered me even more than normal. Little things accumulated like snow on a snowball tumbling down a winter slope. Inconveniences, interactions, emails, all the stuff of daily life in our society that can bring us down. So when the end of the day was nearing and I still hadn’t gone on my run + beach yoga session I marked on my calendar for today, I considered not. I didn’t feel it. I didn’t want to do it. Today I was ten pounds heavier than yesterday, all bloating. Today I was frustrated and busy. Today I was sore and emotional. So when I finally convinced myself to go it was almost sunset. And it was so beautiful I forgot for an hour all about my day, didn’t even care that I was slow and clunky running, and made myself into a complete mess of sand and sweat enjoying the moment. And I had all these beautiful words to share if they’ll come back to me. But right now I’m bundled up in blankets (thanks @johnconley41) with a face mask (thanks @rubycrownkinglet) because the hot water stopped working. Ironic, as it’s finally chilly enough at night, especially covered in sweat, to want it. Whatever. It was my day. I lived it. I chose action. I chose love. And I feel loved. And I feel lucky. Tomorrow is a new day. And the rest of today I’m going to hide in our sweet home with mah love and my kitties and sip hot tea and read my book and look through the beautiful sunset pictures. So there day, take that.
Perhaps I’m happy because I let myself feel lucky. I allow myself the pleasure, to love my day and my moments and my thoughts and my body and my present moment. It’s a choice. I say it every day. It’s a choice that takes a lot of effort sometimes. You must be you and grateful for you and all that you have. This is happiness to me. I have a man that loves me. One that values who I am and helps me to be who I want to become, which changes every day. I have a family that loves me, some blood relatives and others not. I have memories that flood me of happiness when I see them. My family cares and listens. I have a healthy body, which I haven’t always had and it gives me hope for healing. I have a healthy mind, and have learned how to forgive, to appreciate, to heal, from all the bad. I’ve been hurt, but I’m here today and everything is imperfectly perfect. Beautiful. Everything is beautiful. Happiness is a choice. And my life is oh so happy.
“Tell me all about it.” When was the last time someone told you that and you actually took the time to share? I say this phrase so frequently that sometimes I get told I sound like a “psychiatrist” or I ask “why is that?” or “how does/did that make you feel?” I guess I like to understand. Sometimes it can be overwhelming to be asked pressing questions if you’re not used to it. I’ve always enjoyed being pressed... it gives you a sense of trying to remember your past whilst being true to your current self. Not everyone does. But I love being in the company of those that don’t mind... even those with a lot to hide have a lot to share. It’s all worth knowing.
Just a reminder to never take yourself too seriously. Or life. Cause well, you only get one chance. Doors close constantly. Opportunities only stay available for moments sometimes. Work your ass off and work to be your best you. Run for your dreams. Treat your body well. But don’t forget to be goofy and make so called “mistakes” too. If you’re like me, you are hard on yourself for anything other than perfect. But like me, you can learn over time that it’s just a part of the process and imperfection is sooooo beautiful.
I’ve been so many places in the world and I have had a very hard time appreciating Southern California, and I bet it’s mostly because I see what it once could’ve been. Just like I see many places. I value nature greatly, and the city makes me crave wild. It’s nearly impossible to find, but marks of it are everywhere. We’ll likely be here a while, and I can imagine what this looked like before, before the city was built tall and wide, the neighborhoods were small, the beaches clean, the waterfowl neverending, the hunting and foraging like the north in the summer. It’s a beautiful area and I’m lucky to see what it was and still could be. #happinessisachoice
Summer can be stifling. It can also be a period of personal growth. Nature is stunted for a bit and the heat can make you want to lay around and sip cold drinks inside, but that’s when discipline is most important. I make it a point to spend a lot more time outside in the summer because I’m much less motivated to be active. I think it’s because I used to be SO trained to be active in the summer cause it was when I had the most freedom. And in the PNW the daylight and rare sun almost made me feel obligated. I spent the last couple years trying to balance the year, and then we moved to the PSW the balance was off yet again. Right now it’s all about finding my new balance. About the right amount of exercise and adventure combined with the right amount of recuperation and room for growth.
April 26, 2018
Felt so good to get out even though I’m nursing some “injuries”... I really need a name for parts of your body that need tenderness or extra love, because once you’re not a kid it’s all pretty much an exchanging of “problem” parts until whatever ripe age everything becomes a problem... One thing heals, one thing hurts, one thing strengthens, one thing weakens. I think being happy with what you have every damn day is important, and I say that a lot, but it’s achievable with a mindset of working for progress while still accepting where you’re at. Why? Because just like emotions, there will always be negatives! Learning to breathe, accept, feel, and be patient both with your body and your mind is the key. It’s what separates the people who always smile and laugh about the smallest things from the people who always find something to frown or complain about. If I wait to do stuff until I’m 100% I’ll never do anything. If I wait to feel good about my body until I achieve a goal, I’ll have another goal to reach and I’ll never be content with it. I love my body- it’s not only the only one I’ll ever have, but we have been through some SHIT together, literal and figurative. The human brain works in peculiar ways, focusing on pain sensors and things we don’t like. It merely takes learning that process to redirect your thoughts to what feels good, and what is amazing where you’re at. The journey, the growth, the love, the truth, the joy, its all right in front of you if you open yourself up to it. So, remember that it’s not always tomorrows goals that you need to focus on. It’s not always today’s problems or annoyances that need attention or fixing. Sometimes, you have to see that you reached a goal you had yesterday today, and savor that moment. Sometimes you have to ignore the ugly to see the beautiful. Part of that is setting little goals, for happiness and for health, and celebrating your own progress every damn day. The other part is realizing our world is completely imperfect and still loving it.
July 7, 2017
It's been a week. It's been a long week. It's been a hard week. It's not the end of my week. I have so much I could complain about. Yet all I feel is gratefulness. Grateful that I can sit on my porch in a place I feel safe and take a shot of Irish whiskey, (because not all Polish folks like vodka). Grateful that my health is better than it has been in ten years, knowing that I've conquered so many physical beasts I had no control over. Grateful that I have a family that cares for me and understands me. Grateful that my parents have nurtured my wild and free side over the years. Grateful that I've gained and lost so many friendships over the years. Grateful that I have a boyfriend that is a life partner. Grateful that he has an amazing family that I get to share time with. Grateful that I've learned so much about life and love. Grateful that I have taken care of myself mentally and physically through all of the hard times. I could complain about so much. But I'm grateful. Instead, I'm grateful. Cheers everybody! Happy pride weekend (I've got rainbow nails and will be serving drinks all weekend), and happy Friday (to those with normal schedules). Don't forget to find what you're grateful for... because every second spent complaining is a second you could be smiling.
March 11, 2017
I heard a quote today I probably hadn't heard since I was a child... it made me chuckle because oh how true it is... "I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener." The society we currently live in places so much of its marketing on what makes a product or service stand out. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this. What seems to happen more than not though, is "it's better than" comes up... While part of this stems from the mass production and difficulty in diversifying, more of it stems from the psychological upbringings of always trying to compare. Innately, we know what we like and what makes us happy, and what improves us and moves us forward from our prior selves and situations in positive ways. Whatever meandering we take, we learn and grow and improve. There will be changes and fluctuations and questions, big and small. It may include our jobs, our friends, our hobbies, our exercise regimes, our eating styles. We may feel a need to compete and there's nothing unhealthy about that. At some point though, a line must be drawn, and it's only going to be done by getting to know yourself every single moment of every day, because no two individuals in the world are exactly the same. That itch to always compare leads to a dissatisfaction that contributes to piles of trash all over the world from discarded items, and more distinctly, much unneeded dissatisfaction based on material and outside images. The more you know who you are, what you like, what you want, what your values are... the more you learn to be happy with yourself and stop comparing. The more you do that, the more you'll stop wondering why some of the most unlucky and unfortunate people are some of the kindest and happiest.
February 9, 2017
I've been meaning to write a little blurb for a while about flaws. What is a flaw? 1: "A sudden brief burst of wind." Ha, that's not what we think of. 2: "A defect in physical structure or form/ an imperfection or weakness and especially one that detracts from the whole or hinders effectiveness." I don't refer to any human, including myself, with the word because I view it as having a negative connotation. There is no one build for a person, be it mental or physical. We are here to add our little individualities to the world, and some we may choose we like, and some we may wish to change, but none of them are flaws, they are mere obstacles in the way of being who we want to be, or meaningless nothings to be accepted as a part of us. We will have highs and lows in all our natural and learned habits. I get annoyed sometimes when I get acne as an adult, but I realize now that instead of finding it a flaw, I laugh at the fact that I keep getting the start of a unicorn horn, or I register that it's my body telling me something, often that I'm dehydrated, hormones are active, or I need sleep. I don't know when I became in tune with myself to be able to accept every little thing, to either work on it or let it be, but yoga, travels, and honesty have been key. I've had a lot of talks lately with loved ones about how much exploring and learning about the world brings you closer to yourself. About how much yoga gives you no choice but to be in tune with your heart, feelings, and every last tissue in your body. About how honesty and active listening, kindness and compliments, can do so much for every relationship you have, from your local coffee barista, to your closest relatives, to the internal one with yourself. I encourage you to spend just one day trying not to use a potentially harmful word you do regularly, even if it's only in your head. It could be the word flaw, or it could be something else. It's funny how just eliminating one thing from your daily thought process, which often become habitual, can change your world.
February 8, 2017
The end result of my frolick? A hammock in the snow in the toasty warm sun. My mum told me yesterday, "You put a positive spin on everything in life." I said "I try..." Her response? "You do very well!" Well, that's nice to hear cause it sure is something I aim for every day. Don't forget how special it is to give someone an honest compliment that they likely rarely hear! Sometimes it's the most innate characteristics of folks we are close to and used to that we forget to say we appreciate.
February 6, 2017
Practice patience, learn active observation, and allow for growth. It's relatively simple to see progress in fitness versus forward movement in life. We don't give ourselves enough credit for what we do every day. If you're present and growing every day, you'll never be the same as you were yesterday, and if you're practicing self love, that forward movement is beautiful. I hated half pigeon pose when I started yoga, as many others said, it felt like screaming pigeon. My backbends were fun, but I compressed instead of lengthening into them, until I learned to open my heart and breathe. My thighs were muscular and oh so tight. I've learned to use that to my advantage and call them strong instead. I've learned doing something every day can build you up to enjoy it, but if your goals are too lofty or too small, frustration or boredom set in. We find words and little excuses, when we need not look farther than ourselves for positivity and encouragement. Nothing beautiful was built without stages, and often times they are not equal, consistent, or graceful. We can't expect to be 100% positive all the time, but the effort to be so is not only empowering, but contagious to those around you. We find so many negative words, particularly after a challenge, or after trying something new to blurt out. We are negative about our situations, our bodies. It's so important to find positive ways to observe. You have a choice every day to love yourself, and to be happy. Choose love. Choose happiness. Choose you. I do, and it has made all the difference.
January 10, 2017
Today it's gusting up to 55 knots. It's chilly. It's sunny. It's the prime example of multiple channels of winter weather, one from the Fraser river valley and one from the Strait of Juan de Fuca dueling with one another. It's nice to be out in the storm sometimes... to me, it's a way to marvel at Earths forces. When you can feel at comfort in the turmoil, it's a bit like learning to be happy and content in this crazy chaotic world. Sometimes we need the storm. Sometimes we need the comfort of coming inside from the storm more. Today, I'm curled up in a blanket with some hot tea by the window, sunshine rushing in the window, and trees loudly waving in the wind. I think we know which I needed more today. And next, will be clam digging at the ocean... bring it on.
December 17, 2016
It's okay to look back. Just don't forget that when you're looking back, you're looking to see the amazing memories, the lessons learned, the beauty in your growth. We can get so caught up in times of frustration or joy reflecting and analyzing that we forget that every moment, even the struggles, can be the most joyous times. I've always been one to value simplicity. It doesn't mean I live without excess, without confusion, but rather, I know that I am most content when I'm focused on what makes me truly happy- sometimes it's a smile from a loved one, a photo that captures a feeling, a surprising animal encounter, a beautiful sunset, pure laughter. And being able to enjoy these things is solely focused on being 100% in every moment, right in front of me.
August 29, 2016
I was told today by someone who I frequently see: "you're not allowed to be sad- you're always happy!" This is something I have heard many times over the years and have struggled with. Half, because YES I am allowed to have off days, I'm only human. Half, because YES I am damned happy 99% of the time because why not?! Well, sometimes life catches up to me. Sometimes I need a breather and to rant to loved ones about all the little things that have cropped up and just be held or smiled at or laughed with. It's in my nature to be there for other people, and it feels damn good to have some friends and family who have been there for me over the last couple months of transitions and chaos. You've made me laugh whenever I needed it, talked through the shit, and just been wonderful humans. Thank you thank you thank you.
August 3, 2016
Life lies in the value of wildness, in the stillness of a mind with a steadily beating heart. In an ability to be in the present moment and listen intently to your inner being and your surroundings. Our bodies are or vehicles, the only one we will ever truly have. Like our cars, they deserve tune ups. Sometimes it's to get rid of noise that is unnecessary- to sit in silence on the beach surrounded by children laughing, adults talking, and only truly hear the whistle of the wind, the lapping of the waves, and the breathing of all of the many creatures at low tide. Little pops and crackles as the seaweed and barnacles shift and move, all the while feeling very at peace with all that it is. Again, it is in the present that we are happy, not looking back or forward. Be in it. Be all in.
July 5 2016
I have always loved the golden hour, when the sun reaches the horizon and everything turns to pure gold. There is nothing that makes me feel more rich with life than to experience natural beauty.
June 29, 2016
Don't forget that being alone is okay. Don't forget that being with other humans is essential. Don't forget that being true to yourself is important. Don't forget that honesty with yourself helps you be true to others. Don't forget that you will make what you and others find to be mistakes. Don't forget to learn from your mistakes. Don't forget to love yourself. Don't forget that loving others is essential to being human. Open up. Let go of inhibitions. Do things that makes you uncomfortable enough that you grow. Give people a chance. Give yourself a chance. Document your progress. Understand that all progress is forward movement. Remind yourself every second to breathe, to look internally and externally, to reflect and look forward without disregard to the present moment. Being a human is hard. It's also so worth it.
June 10, 2016
According to my faja, I ninja warrior climbed a couple trees to get my hammock strapped up. According to my mum, I'm a complete crazy monkey. According to the two of them together, it's kind of impressive that I got my hammock up where I did. My friends often tell me I'm one of the most determined people they know. I've also frequently been told I'm stubborn, unwieldy, positive, energetic, prepared, committed, lighthearted. I think it's the combination of these that makes the word determined suitable. It could be said that half of the battle of life is mastery of this beautiful physical vessel we are in, but I'd say a mere fraction is physical, and the rest is mental. If you believe you can, you can. If you believe you deserve happiness and love, you do. If you believe the world is beautiful, it is. That positive energy feeds your being, and the beings around you. It took me this long to truly learn that, and I know now that mental strength is what leads to physical strength. On the other hand, mental vulnerability does not lead to physical vulnerability, but rather an openness to feeling, and that is what truly makes us human. Feeling.
June 5, 2016
It's so easy to find distractions- electronics, friends, family, busywork, moving, thinking. What's not easy is to find stillness- to sit with yourself and love yourself for every flaw and every questionable decision and every heartache and every failed attempt at something. What taking time to be still does is magical. We begin to see the togetherness and appreciate that everything comes together to create you and your life. I'm a firm believer that you attract what you think you deserve, you receive what you want to receive, and you manifest from others what you give to them. I'm so happy to be a constantly learning, living, human being surrounded with folks that create a wonderful sense of love, community, and growth.
May 19, 2016
This is just a cheers to some of the beautiful ladies that have made the last few months of my life so full of laughter and smiles and adventures. I wish I could fit every beautiful face in this collage but I don't think anyone would be able to see them without a magnifying glass. I remember when I was a tom boy kid and thought boys would be my best friends. And truth is, I do have some really great male friends but there's just nothing like having wonderful ladies in your life. To the ones I've known for years, to the ones I've only just met, thank you all for being such strong, gorgeous souls.
April 11, 2016
This will be my "what do you want to do with your one wild and precious life?" post. As someone who's looked at as a positive beam consistently, I sometimes have a hard time showing vulnerability, especially if the pain is minimal. I've been through everything from dicey health for years to mental and physical abuse. To be bothered even slightly by anything petty is uncharacteristic. As I age however, I think it's because I've realized the little things are the big things, that it's all related to the bigger picture that worries me. That the little things lead people into bigger evils. It takes a certain mindset to respond to people in kind, and be kind, but why? Although it's simple, it still takes effort, and practice. Why is it that this practice seems so difficult for so many to put effort into? What is our education system and society lacking? It's time we celebrate each other. It's time to build one another up. In front of this tree is a beautiful flowering plant. Neither is fighting for glory, or comparing the size of their leaves, the height of their reaches, the perfection of their color. It's beautiful, to be in harmony. I suppose I expect better of people. Don't choose pain, and don't let anyone else choose it for you. It's important to have people in your life that truly care, because it's easy to be discouraged by the hate and greed in the rest of the world. It's just as important to love yourself regardless of what comes your way, because you are the only thing you will ever truly have. Don't forget that you are perfect, and worth all of the best in the world. Don't let your past pain creep into your current experiences, or your current experiences creep into your future self in any manifestation other than love... "Love yourself. Then forget it. Then love the world."
December 19, 2015
Today was a beautiful day. The type of day that you reveal your heart to strangers and show your soul to loved ones. A day to remember all the awkward goofy moments where life showed itself as bright as day, and reignite all the days that needed a giggle. My nose is full of grand fir, my eyes are full of sunshine and green expanse, my heart is full of Christmas smells, laughter, and happiness, and my mind is full of the memories of a lifetime. What would I do without my small family, my wonderful friends, the amazing moments I've had?
November 24, 2015
It's beginning to feel like the holidays. Coming home always feels good. I followed the migrating waterfowl also heading to their winter home, intent on starting a fire. My wanderlust gene is big, obvious, roaring. But tucked away somewhere inside of me, is a home body gene. With my toes by the fire, the flocks of geese and ducks and swans flying by, the sound of the cold wind outside, and a beautiful bouquet of roses my mum surprised me with, I can take a vacation right here in my head.
November 22, 2015
Nature brings us back to our senses. It allows us to marvel at the small and the big. To forget petty problems and fall in love again with it all. Without reconnecting with the outdoor world, I find myself in downward slumps. It's when I allow myself to see and feel the magic of little wonders that my happiness grows from a quaint smile to a radiant glow inside and out. Being able to share this with a friend only enhances the effect, as then there's two people laughing about how their cheeks hurt because they can't stop smiling. And documenting these moments? Well, let's just say the only selfie of the day was photo bombed by thousands of snow geese that decided it was the perfect time to take flight. The pure goofiness can only be captured in memories. The happiness though? That'll be shared for much time to come. Don't forget to do what you love, regardless of how busy your agenda is. There's always room for adventure. There's always time to choose happiness.
October 11, 2015
How do you feel when you walk alone, whether it's at the beach, in the woods, at a park, in another country? Do you feel like others try to communicate? Be it a gaze, a smile, with words? Do you feel like they trust you? Respect you? Want to talk to you? I don't pretend to understand what others think of me, but I enjoy how I think of me. I think that's one of the most important, and often misunderstood feelings in the world. There's nothing wrong with loving yourself. After all, if you can't be happy with the thoughts in your own head, the conversations you have with yourself, how you view yourself, it's hard to be happy with anything. Maybe that's why I'm happy. Maybe that's why I seem to attract random strangers. Not my outward appearance, but my inner radiance. Somehow, for some time, I've learned how a glance can earn trust. How a fact can be called intelligence. How patience turns to wisdom. I love sharing my walks, my travels, my adventures with others. I love that somehow people seem to innately trust me and begin to open up like a book that's been waiting in a dusty library. I love hearing random tales from strangers, sharing what I know about animals, plants, geography, flying, and life with those I meet. I think the only thing we truly leave on this planet is the memories others have of us. The impression we make, if only for an instant, on a similarly complex soul.
September 11, 2015
Sometimes I wonder how I get so lucky. Then I remember it's not luck. If you treat people well, they'll usually treat you well. If you're passionate and find other passionate people, everything will fall into place. Love who you are. Love what you do. Love who you do it with.
September 6, 2015
September is a time of change. A time of renewal, fresh air, unpredictable weather, moments of connection, smiles from passerby, hibernation for some, and growth for others. Live it.
August 28, 2015
So happy it's Friday... Not because I don't love every other day during the week, but because I've been going going going without a break. I took every task off my calendar this morning and added them to Monday. Why? Because to recover is essential. Our brain and body need time to heal and rejuvenate. And, to appreciate. Without time to really sit back and take in my recent array of accomplishments, today is full to the brim with pride, happiness, and satisfaction. And of course, curiosity and excitement for what will happen in the future. For today, I have enough in my head to be going on with. The only stimuli I need are the rays of sun peaking through the storm clouds, the fresh smell of rain, and the cool breeze. When we are young, we crave new, and to be busy. As we age, we desire more and more time to process, and to be still. Maybe it's the yogi in me speaking, but to be present in this moment with myself, is to be alive. To share it, is to be connected. To enjoy it, is to be happy.
July 25, 2015
There are so many different things about life we just don't know. It's a balance, a crazy balance, and it's amazing along the way. Remember to smile, to laugh at your imbalance, and find your strengths.
July 24, 2015
Little droplets of rain gathering on a beautiful fallen leaf. Beauty in the small things for me, is one of the biggest keys to happiness. Reminding ourselves of the satisfying feeling of raindrops on fresh skin, of the smell of bricks after rainfall, of colorful leaves and change.
July 20, 2015
Laying next to the waves. Today, I celebrate my third week in the accelerated MBA program at WWU and the accomplishments I have already achieved. Five years ago, I'd never have thought I'd be pursuing a Master's, receiving all 90%+ on my coursework, been awarded a graduate assistant-ship with awesome benefits, be a private pilot, an accomplished photographer, or even just sitting in the sunshine by the waves looking out at the San Juan Islands. So much changes so quickly in life. I'm honored today to know that I am proud of who I am, and how much I improve each day. I'm happy... Not because of what I've accomplished, but of how, and of why.
June 26, 2015
I am a pilot that dreams of the sky. I am the child that dreamed of being in the air. I am the adult that dreams of conquering the space above the land we occupy. I think every day and every night and every moment of being in my element. It's been almost two years since I earned my license to fly, and yet I still feel new to the sky, and I always will. Even years from now when I have the money to fly more consistently, share my love more profoundly, and see the world from above more often, I will still realize that humans are so new in their presence in the sky. Cheers to beautiful sunsets, fond memories of accomplishments, and beautiful sights and feelings in the future. I look forward to using my skills and dreams more down the road, and being happy now in what I've already done
May 29, 2015
Out of all of the irrational fears in the world, I'm pretty good at controlling mine. I didn't get spiders, heights, the dark, or change; I got poking my feet down in the middle of a lake. It's been years since I had to awkwardly move my feet as fast as possible, or jump in and out all quick like, as I'm pretty stubborn about not having irrational fears. However, it still takes work to be calm and content. Fear, is all in the mind. Like jealousy, it's a battle with ones self - one that you will never be better for having. You may not be as experienced, as smart, as fit, as financially well off as someone else, but you are loved, and you are the best you can be. You may be afraid of everything, but only you can help yourself conquer your fears, however little and silly, or big and scary.